Facing Burnout and Building Success: An Intimate Conversation with Brita Scott

Speaker 1: 0:11

Hello everyone, welcome back to the Emotional man Weekly Podcast. I'm really excited to have Brita Scott with us today. I'm at her while networking. She is phenomenal and I'm really excited to share her with everyone. She is the owner and founder of Brita Bookkeeping. She's married and has been married for 21 years. She has two children a 17-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son. She's a self-professed adrenaline junkie and is part of me A little bit, erin. She and her husband enjoy having together. Welcome to the show, brita.

Speaker 2: 0:42

Thank you. It's good to be with you, Joseph. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1: 0:45

Now talk to me about Brita Bookkeeping. What was the genesis of starting your own company? What was the circumstance that led to it? Talk to me about just how you went about starting this.

Speaker 2: 0:56

Yeah, I started doing bookkeeping with a friend when my son started kindergarten and I worked with her for many years. That was my introduction to bookkeeping. I worked with her until we moved out of state and wasn't able to continue working with her anymore. We actually moved back to Utah right before COVID happened. At that point in my life I was getting a little older and I was like what do I truly want to do when I grow up? I had a couple of part-time jobs. My kids were at this point junior high and high school, a little bit older, and I have more time on my hands. Now I can actually put into something I really want to do.

Speaker 2: 1:34

After working for a couple of people that were harder to work for, I decided I really wanted to try out the self-owned business concept. I really enjoyed bookkeeping, as I had done previously. I joined a coaching program to teach me how to set up the business, how to market, how to form an LLC, how to go to have someone I could go to if I had questions. Bookkeeping is not a static thing. There are so many variables that come into play. It was just great to have a mentor to go to when I needed, when I had questions. I started my Britis bookkeeping in 2021 and it's just taken off from there. I've been able to meet so many great people. I also wanted to, at that point, do what my friend had done for me she taught me bookkeeping. She taught me skills. My goal with creating my business was not only to provide income for my family, but also to provide great jobs for other moms that wanted to work from home as well.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Now, when you were thinking about starting this and thinking about maybe this coaching opportunity, what was that conversation like with your family? Was there a conversation? What was going through your head at the time? Were there some of the pros and cons? Were you worried about anything? Talk to me about that, so many were.

Speaker 2: 2:58

That was like it's this coaching program? Is it going to actually work? There are so many things out there. Will I actually follow through with it? If I do this coaching program, will I actually buckle down and do it? Because I know that people can provide your information but if you don't take it and use it, then you're not going to get anything out of it. It was not a lot of money, but it was a lot of money. It was a significant chunk of change to spend on doing it. So is it going to give us a good return on our investments? So it was a lot of conversation with my husband.

Speaker 2: 3:28

Will this work with our family? It's different as a business owner than working with someone else At home all the time. Will my kids support this? Will they be willing to when I'm on meetings, to allow me to work and not bother me for that short period of time that I'm doing this, trying to figure out the work-life balance more? Because when I was working previously at the part-time jobs, it was away from home or it was very part-time. I wasn't in front of clients a lot, so it was either flexible or I wasn't at home so the kids couldn't be there for them. So it was just making sure that everybody was on board with doing something different, as well as just making sure that I was going to mentally be committed to doing something like this.

Speaker 1: 4:16

So how did you work through the worries and what did the conversations look like? How did you bring it up? How did you end up discussing with your children, with your husband talking about that?

Speaker 2: 4:29

I don't feel like there was a perfect process that we've had for it, but it was more just. This is what I'm thinking of doing. What do you think? And then giving him the details of it, and then we did maybe a pros and cons list Like here's some really good things about it, here's some things that may be harder to do, figuring out if the pros outweighed the cons, just like I said, the kids are. There was a variable in all these equations. My husband was super supportive of it, but I hate spending money so I really wanted to make sure that it was something that was going to work. So I had a lot of fear going into it, so I knew I had to be super committed. If I did it and it paid off in dividend, so it was great.

Speaker 1: 5:15

How did you get past the fear? I think that's in a lot of relationships Fear should be such a roadblock just to healing communication. Or afraid about what our spouse may think, about what they may say, so we don't say anything, we don't pursue something. So what helped you be willing to feel that fear and move past it?

Speaker 2: 5:37

I don't know. I'm religious and so I still, like fear is lack of faith. So I had to keep telling myself that it's just my fears that are preventing me from doing this. Like when I went and talked to him he responded great. So it wasn't, it was all in my head. It wasn't necessarily what he was saying that created it. It was more just about something that I was going through in my head.

Speaker 2: 6:03

So I think a lot of times the fear is just something that we make bigger and bigger in our mind and it's not necessarily always the case that's not true for everybody, because and fear can play a huge role in things but a lot of times I think that we overthink things a lot and just taking a lot of times.

Speaker 2: 6:23

For me, it's just taking that step forward, moving out of my comfort zone and knowing that it's going to be scary or I am afraid to do this. But so many times when I do something, it's not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's like coming on this today. It's not like there's a little bit of fear of like being out in front of people, but like starting a business, talking, having an awkward conversation Just a lot of times, once you get through it, it's like this huge sense of relief and accomplishment and oh, that actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. So I feel like those build upon each other, right. Oh, okay, I remember now that time it wasn't that bad, so maybe this one won't be bad either. So I just try to keep that in mind, that it's probably not going to be as bad as I think it's going to be.

Speaker 1: 7:16

I love that. It's choosing what you want to believe. It can be an identity. What it is you're choosing to believe can be so powerful.

Speaker 2: 7:25

Now, what about your? I'm not saying I'm perfect about that, but that's what I tried to do.

Speaker 1: 7:29

Yes, it was enough to help you move forward. Now, what about? What were your children's responses? I'm curious to know, as you're talking to them about it. I know there's a lot of entrepreneurs out there or people who want to start companies, and I'm very curious about how you went about broaching the topic with your children. How did you? I'm sure it wasn't perfect Nothing is these are messy, but just talk me through how you went about the conversations and how did you. Yeah, what?

Speaker 2: 7:58

questions did you ask? The kids were super supportive and excited and they're like oh yeah, mom, that's really cool. That being said, as they got in they see the pretty picture of oh mom's gonna, we're gonna have more money to help with pay for my sports and help pay for this, and that they're excited for the outcome. They're not necessarily excited. They don't really realize the process to get there. And so there's been I think that's time management with my family, especially during the summer when they're home from school. I feel like that's when the reality of mom used to always just take us wherever we wanted to go, and now we have to schedule with her.

Speaker 2: 8:43

So I had a coach share a suggestion with me once that it helped quite a bit. He said I sit down on Sunday night with my family and say you are my number one priority and I want you to know that whatever I want to be there for you whenever I can. So can we put down on my schedule when you need my help, when you want me to take you mountain biking, when you need me to take you to whatever it might be. So let's put that down on the schedule and then they know that you're wanting to be there for them and that you're their number one priority. So when you have meetings and they come to you last minute and say, hey, mom, I need you to do this, and you're like I'm so sorry, I've got this meeting set up, then let's try and schedule this different next time.

Speaker 2: 9:33

I've tried it and it is helped a lot. My kids are terrible about planning, so hopefully it's teaching them that they need to learn to plan better, because I still do get quite a few times where they're like, hey, mom, can you, my friends and I want to do this. Or I said I tried to get you to schedule this. My friends never got back to me so I couldn't do that. So there still are a lot of variables, but I feel like at least they know upfront that they I do want them to be my number one priority and that they are most important to me and work while it is important and I need to do my meetings that they're my number one priority.

Speaker 1: 10:11

And there is something very powerful you're doing that I think would relieve so much anxiety, guilt and pressure from parents is when you can sit down and say all right, you're my number one priority, let's schedule this, let's time block this. This is where we're spending time together, this is a unide connection. Then they know outside of that, if they have to say no to their children, it's OK and there's no need to feel guilty about it, because you've scheduled that connection time and you're centered on your values and you're doing what you said you want. So you don't have that residual guilt about always being there for your child, no matter what circumstance. You don't have to battle that.

Speaker 2: 10:58

Yeah, and I do still get the mom guilt when they come to me last minute and I'm like. A lot of times it's like, hey, I can't do it at this time, but if you can wait until which, I feel like we're a society of instant gratification anyways. So it's good, for I am a mom pleaser, though I will 100% admit it.

Speaker 2: 11:17

Like I have my two kids and I want to be able to take them and run and go into whenever. But it does help me to be able to say when I can say hey, you know what I can't right now, but let's, I can in at this time. If you can get your friends to come over in two hours, I will be able to help you out there. So I, the mom guilt, has a lesson, let's kind of pivot.

Speaker 1: 11:41

So we've talked about you and relationship with your children. Now talk to me about your husband. What does he do? And we'll get into that dynamic next.

Speaker 2: 11:50

Yeah, so he works for the state of Utah Department of Air Quality and he actually is sitting right here next to me. We work in the same room each day and so, yeah, we he's COVID had them start working from home, so we just work right next to each other each day. It's awesome when we're not in meetings.

Speaker 1: 12:10

My next question was what with? A lot of times, when you have dual working parents or dual entrepreneurs, there is a tendency to get centered and focused on career ambitions or needing to provide for my family, so I need to work. Or people start turning to work to escape maybe other emotional difficulties, and so they can become like this this emotional drift that occurs, or conflict. Have you ever had you experienced those challenges and, if so, how are you addressing them or overcoming them?

Speaker 2: 12:44

Yeah, my husband is really good at playtime, like he is really good at scheduling in like his go play pickleball, his go play ultimate frisbee and stuff. So it's he helps me like because I am the I have this project I have to get done and I got to work till midnight, kind of persons. It's really good, like he keeps that balance in the relationship and helps me be able to know that it's OK to take time off and go do things and not just be working all the time. Granted, I don't love working all the time, sometimes it's needed, right but it is nice to have to see him enjoying life so much so that it's, oh, it's OK to do that, like he's successful and he can do it as well. So he's a good balance. We're good, we balance each other out.

Speaker 1: 13:32

No, you said something that's really interesting. One of the beliefs that often leads to burnout is the idea I have to, I can't stop, I can't get away, this needs to get done. And you said you get to the mindset like I'll work till midnight if I have to because I have to. So how do you? Because in some, no one has a gun to your head, no one's forcing you to, but so how do you? In what ways have you seen this kind of thought? I have to, how do you engage with the idea and how do you maintain a healthy relationship with responsibility and client relationships, along with your personal health?

Speaker 2: 14:17

That's a good question, because I'm not always good at that. So I feel like that's probably something that I'm working on more than other things. Is that I am really good about getting up and making sure that my needs are met each morning getting up and exercising, making sure my kids are taken care of when we have dinner together, we're eating dinner and not having the phones out, not doing that kind of stuff and trying to spend quality time together. But as far as that, I have to. I don't know. I would love more feedback on that, actually, because I feel like that's one of those things that I am. Guys, I have to do this. It is a common phrase that I use all the time in my work, so it's when you make commitments to people and you promise things to people that I have to is a big player in those and that. So any suggestions from you, Joseph? I would love that.

Speaker 1: 15:15

One of the things I've seen entrepreneurs do is, when we make ourselves a victim, when we say I have to, we're giving power over to a concept, to an idea, to a person, and so it's a way of shifting emotional blame. So don't be upset with me because of this over here. This is why this has to happen, and what I've seen entrepreneurs do that seems to work. They own it in a value-centric way, so say oh, I made a commitment to this person, I'd get this done by this time. So I really value my integrity, so I'm going to work on this because it's important for me to show up with integrity.

Speaker 2: 15:59

And I feel like that there's another phrase. There too, I choose to right. I'm committed, I choose to. So, just like you said, I do believe in the power of words, so just rephrasing things makes a huge difference. So thank you for, yeah, that's a great idea.

Speaker 1: 16:14

And another interesting thing I've seen entrepreneurs do is really question Do I really have to, and so is this a lie I'm telling myself, or is there really a commitment that I've committed to and I need to show up with integrity? So that's always a difficult question.

Speaker 2: 16:31

Yeah, I'm learning a lot, so thank you. Every day is an education, though, okay.

Speaker 1: 16:38

So one of the things we always like to uncover and discuss in this podcast because, again, the real theme, one of the main themes of this podcast is discussing what does it look like to run a successful company and raise a successful family. No, how do we define success as parents, as just individuals? Because in business it's so easy. We have all the metrics. We can look at the bottom line, we can look at growth, we can look at culture or whatever it may be, control. A lot of times we don't transfer those ideas to family. So it's really easy to think well, if I have the big house, if I have the fancy car, if the kids are in the best schools, maybe that's what success looks like. So I'm curious how would you define and measure success if someone says I need something you can measure? No, give me some way to measure whether or not your success in your family. What would be that measuring stick for you?

Speaker 2: 17:40

I like to look at that just in the matter, as are my kids happy? Are they giving back? Are they? I want to see them being contributing members of society, versus like takers. And so I love to travel. I like nice things but I don't like.

Speaker 2: 17:59

For me, it's not about the biggest house, necessarily, or having the nicest things, more about what am I giving to people? Am I providing value for? Are my clients getting what they ask for? Am I providing it in a timely manner? Am I being able to provide bookkeeping services to them that are giving them accurate reports? Financials that tell them? The financials are the story of people's business. So being able to give them their picture of their business each month is, for my business, that success. And then for my family, it's Like I said, it's just making sure that we have quality time together, that we're, that we love each other.

Speaker 2: 18:42

There's still arguments, there's still contention in the home, but I would love to. I would love to learn how to speak teenager. That's what I like. Speak teenager actually may be even interpret teenager. So like both of those things if I that. Maybe that's what I need to measure success by is being able to like, learn that language. But yeah. So just like being able to have communication with my kids, make sure they're happy and they're moving forward in life. I feel like as long as we're moving forward, even if there are some steps back, that's success to me. So.

Speaker 1: 19:16

If you had to create a scorecard that you can measure each week or keep track of each week or on a quarterly basis, how would you track? My children are happy, or?

Speaker 2: 19:28

Yeah, my children are getting back. It's not a tangible thing necessarily. Is it to put a score on? Yeah, that's a? Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question, it's a really good question.

Speaker 1: 19:41

So, if you wanted, persistent worries on the back of most parents' mind is have I done enough? Am I a good parent? Have I done enough for my kids? Without a way to say yes or no to that, it just has this lingering worry, fear, unsettlement. So what if you could measure, saying yeah, no, this is what I'm defining success as, and it all looks like we can improve here or not, do there. So if someone put a gun to your head, what would be some ideas? I'm just really curious. If someone had to, if you had to write something down that you could observe and keep track of, I don't know just Well, what are your thoughts?

Speaker 2: 20:25

Yeah, that's, I don't know that guns to my head because I hate. I got to figure something out here. I think it's hard because I think it's different for everyone, right, okay, my kids are doing well in school. I can see that their grades are high. They're turning in their homework, they're Like that's something that's a tangible evidence of that they're actually putting in effort and moving forward, and that could be different, right, like they were getting a C, now they're getting a B. They were getting a B, now they're getting an A, or they are. Maybe they've been a little more reclusive and they're actually hanging out with friends, like you can see, like they hey, last week I had to fight them tooth and nail to take the trash out. This week they did it without me asking them, right, I don't know. Just different things. That and I don't know those are. There's still a lot of like variability and not, but I feel like it just is so different for everybody.

Speaker 2: 21:22

We're all like working to become better. So wherever we are here, as long as we're maybe up here the next time, then that to me is success. Like I only was able to run a half mile last week, but this week I can run three, fourths of a mile. So like it's the small, the small little things that we're doing each day that build upon each other, when I don't think that all of them are tangible like you, you can't see everything that's going on and you can't see but they do manifest in tangible things like AB report card grades and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 21:55

I don't know. Yeah, it's been an interesting conversation. Do you use external metrics to measure family success or is there something more intrinsic you can keep track of? I make a point to connect with my children, or oh it's an ongoing thing. It's an ongoing conversation I love having with everyone that comes on the show.

Speaker 2: 22:14

Yeah, great, great and deep questions that will make me think about it more as well, Brita.

Speaker 1: 22:20

I always like to ask who, if someone wanted to learn more about bookkeeping, getting your services, why? Who is the best client for you and why? Why is it nice to hire a third party bookkeeper?

Speaker 2: 22:33

I think the best reason for hiring a bookkeeper is you're so busy as a small business owner that you want to spend more time growing your business. You don't want to have to worry about the details of that. As I mentioned before, bookkeeping is really the story of your business. Having that profit and loss statement, having that balance sheet, not only is great at the end of the year when you go to your accountant and they can file your taxes cheaper because you have everything in order, but knowing that month to month and sometimes day to day, depending on where you're at, is really helpful, as you do.

Speaker 2: 23:09

I need to cut spending here. Am I truly making money? Where is this going to be a better investment for me if I do this versus this? Having a good bookkeeper really takes that weight off of you. There's so many people that come to me that have thought they would be able to do their own bookkeeping and they just get caught up in everything else that they have to do. Being able to outsource that bookkeeping is really helpful for business owners. I love to work with any business owner that doesn't want to have to deal with that.

Speaker 1: 23:42

Wonderful If people wanted to learn more about you and how to connect with you. They'd like to spend less time in the office, more time with the family. What's the best way for them to get a hold of you?

Speaker 2: 23:53

Yeah, my website is britazbookkeepingcom. B-r-i-t-a-s with an sbookkeepingcom, or you can just email me at britahatbritazbookkeepingcom. Wonderful.

Speaker 1: 24:08

Thank you, Britaz, so much for coming on the show, for sharing your precious time with us, and we wish you and your family the very best.

Speaker 2: 24:15

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for the opportunity.